Als het misgaat…

Iedereen kan erover meespreken … af en toe gaat er iets niet zoals we het wilden of verwachtten.

Relaties  die mislopen, ruzies met vrienden, tegenslagen op je werk, gezondheidsproblemen, … er zijn tal van voorbeelden.

Hoe meer je probeert en dingen meemaakt, hoe groter de kans dat er af en toe iets niet loopt zoals je het wenst.

Dit hoort nu eenmaal bij Het Leven.

De enige manier om tegenslag te vermijden is niets doen.

Wie niets doet, doet niets verkeerd.
Wie niets nieuws probeert, zal ook niet mislukken.

Maar is dat wel wat je wilt ?

Ik denk dat we allemaal vooruit willen.
Nieuwe dingen willen ontdekken.
Willen groeien.

Het belangrijkste is HOE je omgaat met tegenslag.

Tegenslag kan het begin zijn van een negatieve spiraal waarin je gebrek aan zelfvertrouwen het gevoel van imcompetentie versterkt. En blijft versterken.

Maar een tegenslag kan ook een ervaring zijn, een moment waar je van kan leren en het begin van een nieuwe start.

Een goede manier om dit leerproces te ondersteunen is aan de hand van de volgende 5 vragen …

#1 : Wat kan ik hiervan leren ?

Neem je verantwoordelijkheid waar wat mis ging. Misschien was niet alles je fout maar waarschijnlijk had je toch een klein aandeel in de fouten.

Succesvolle mensen zoeken geen excuses of zoeken geen verantwoordelijken voor hun fouten.

Ze nemen hun eigen verantwoordelijkheid.

  1. Wees kritisch maar constructief.
  2. Probeer objectief naar je ervaring te kijken.
  3. Maak een overzicht van alles wat gebeurde, wat er misliep.
  4. Analyseer dit stap voor stap.

#2 : Van welke stappen en fouten kan je leren ?

  • Wat had je anders kunnen doen ?
  • Welke andere mogelijkheden of keuzes had je ?
  • Welke keuzes heb je gemaakt en waarom ?
  • Wanneer had je iets anders kunnen doen ?

Probeer je keuzes te begrijpen aan de hand van deze vragen.

#3 : Welke vaardigheden moet ik verbeteren/aanleren ?

  • Was er een probleem omdat je bepaalde vaardigheden niet beheerste ?
  • Moet je bepaalde dingen leren ?
  • Zijn er bepaalde cursussen die je kan volgen ?

#4 : Van wie kan ik iets leren ?

  • Is er iemand die je raad kan vragen ?
  • Bij wie kan je terecht voor constructief afvies ?

Veel mensen vragen geen hulp omdat ze dat als een teken van zwakte zien.
Dat is het niet.
Wie raad of hulp vraagt,  laat zien dat hij open staat voor verandering en klaar is om te leren.

#5 : Wat ga ik nu doen ? Wat is mijn volgende stap ?

Nu kan je met een actieplan beginnen.
Ga je hetzelfde doen of iets helemaal anders?

Kijk nog eens naar je doelen en plannen. Bekijk deze tegenslag als een kleine tussenstop op de weg naar je doel in plaats van een definitieve stilstand

Als je de levensverhalen van succesvolle mensen leest zoals uitvinders, ontdekkingsreizigers, wetenschappers of politici, dan zal je zien dat zij ook dikwijls te maken hadden met tegenslag.

Success seems to be connected with action. Successful people keep moving. They make mistakes, but they don’t quit.-Conrad Hilton

Perseverance is failing 19 times and succeeding the 20th. -Julie Andrews

Het belangrijkste punt is om je tegenslagen te gebruiken als een leerervaring.
Een tegenslag is gewoon 1 stapje in de weg naar succes.

Probeer van alles wat je overkomt het positieve te zien.
De 5 vragen hierboven zijn eéén manier om je hierbij te helpen.

By Ingrid V.

Creatieve 1000-poot en freelance trainer met interesses als GTD, productiviteit, persoonlijke ontwikkeling, management, blogging, technologie,


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